Monday, August 31, 2009

ورشة فنية لأطفال الشوارع

“سحاب”

ورشة فنية لأطفال بلا مأوى

مسرح روابط

يونيو 2008

  فى هذه التدوينة أود أن ألقى الضوء على إحدى التجارب التى تمت فى مصر التى توضح الدور الهام للفن فى حياة الأفراد والمجتمع. فنعرض ورشة فنية متنوعة أعدت وشارك فيها أطفال الشوارع. ضمت الورشة أنواعاً متعددة من الفنون وهى الرسم، والتمثيل، وتحريك العرائس، والموسيقى، والغناء. شاركت فى هذه الورشة منظمات عديدة وهيئات دولية مثل اليونيسيف، مسرح روابط، ساقية الصاوى، جمعيات أهلية،…إلى آخره. وفيها تم إستخراج المبدع من داخل طفل الشارع من خلال تعامله مع الألوان والعرائس والآلات الموسيقية المختلفة. فهى قائمة على التعامل مع طفل الشارع على أنه إنسان وليس كائن غير مرغوب فيه. وهذه هى الخطوة الأولى لحل مشكلة أطفال الشوارع وتبعاتها المدمرة للمجتمع. فتجاهل واحتقار هذه الفئة هى دائرة مفرغة تبدأ بالتجاهل، وتمر بالاحتقار، وسوء المعاملة من المجتمع لطفل الشارع، وتنتهى به عالة على المجتمع أو مدمراً له، كأن يصبح شحاذاً أو مجرماً أو –على أحسن تقدير- كتلة من الأمراض النفسية والعضوية.  

 فمن خبرتى مع أطفال الشوارع (فى بحث التخرج الذى قمت به)، هم يمتلكون قيماً سامية ولكن تدفنها أطنان القمامة التى يعيشون بداخلها، والأسر المفككة والمدمرة التى يخرجون منها، وغياب الأمل والحلم. وفى ذلك عندى قصص وقصص من أفواه 171 طفل وطفلة تمت محاورتهم وإجراء لقاءات معهم، ولكن لا يتسع المجال لهذه القصص هنا. إلا أن ما استخلصته من كل هذه اللقاءات، أن التعامل الإنسانى مع هؤلاء، يخرج أفضل ما فيهم لأنه يجعلهم يشعرون بآدميتهم. وهذا يمنع سخطهم على المجتمع بأسره ويتقى شرهم. ففهم محتاجون إلى التقويم والاحتواء وليس العنف فى غالب الأحيان. وكما نقول دائماً “الوقاية خير من العلاج”، فكلما ظلوا فى حياة الشارع لفترة أطول، كلما كان من الأصعب الإصلاح والتقويم.

 ملخص ما ورد بالفيلم: (لمشاهدة الفيلم:  http://www.egyptcivilsociety.org/videos/index.php?item=33)

تم استخدام هذه الفنون المختلفة فى إخراج الطاقات من داخل الطفل كأسلوب مبتكر للتعامل معه من حيث التحليل النفسى وفهم ما بداخله من تجارب قد تكون قاسية مرت به فى حياته فى الشارع. فهى تعطى مساحة للطفل للتعبير عن نفسه واكتشاف مواهبه الدفينة. كما أن معرض اللوحات الذى أقيم لهؤلاء الأطفال (فى ساقية الصاوى مثلا) سمح للطفل أن يتعامل مع الزوار على أنه طفل وفنان، وأوجد نقطة لالتقاء الزوار مع الأطفال ومحاولة فهمهم عن طريق فتح جسور للحوار بين الطرفين. كما أن هذه الورش الفنية من شأنها تعليم هؤلاء الأطفال قيم وسلوكيات إيجابية بشكل غير مباشر مما يؤدى إلى تغيير فى أسلوب حياتهم ونظرتهم لأنفسهم وللواقع وللمستقبل.

وقد أثر الفن على الأطفال على صعيدين أساسيين هما: أولاً، تقوية العلاقة بين الأطفال وبين الأخصائيين النفسيين لأن مساحة التفاهم بينهم اتسعت مما أوضح خفايا كثيرة بداخلهم. وثانياً، إتاحة الفرصة لعقل الطفل لأن يتصور مستقبله بشكل مختلف عن الشكل المظلم الذى قد يفرضه عليه المجتمع أو المحيط الذى يعيش فيه. فقد أدرك الأطفال مواهبهم وتفتحت أمامهم مجالات أرحب للعمل عن طريق نظرة مستقبلية أوسع سمحت لهم بها الورش. فهم الآن تعلموا أشياء كثيرة وتعرفوا على أشياء لم تكن فى نطاق تخيلهم. فهم الآن، باختصار، بدؤوا يحلمون بغد أفضل.

 تحدثت فى هذا الفيلم التسجيلى السيدة/ عالية مسلم، منسقة برنامج حماية أطفال الشوارع باليونيسيف، والسيدة/ شيماء كامل، فنانة تشكيلية مشاركة فى برنامج “سحاب”، والسيدة/ ندى، فنانة مشاركة فى برنامج “سحاب” فى نشاط العرائس.

 

[Via http://abcdevelopment.wordpress.com]

maybe I should come to expect it

Last year August, S was a mess and so was I.

This year August, S is somewhat of a mess, but I seem to be okay.  Well, I definitely have a shorter temper all of a sudden, but I’m not wallowing in any depression or feel like the world is closing in on me.  Progress.

My husband and I FINALLy got a night out last night!  My MIL (Mother-in-law) came to watch the kids while we met friends out to dinner.  She was going to feed them dinner, play with them, and put them to bed.  We weren’t expected back before midnight.

What a great night.  Great conversation that just flowed like the old days.  No kids to interrupt us or demand our attention.  Well, there was a 2 month old baby with one of the couples.  But he was so good, and slept through everything, that….it really didn’t count.  6 of us had dinner together.  The men went to a bar, and the ladies went to the hotel room that a friend was staying at to hang out and take care of the baby together.

We came in about 1:30am.  I found out the next morning that M was screaming when we left.  But she did eventually come out of it and had fun.  She ate a great dinner, played well, and when it was time to go to sleep, she didn’t put up much protest.  S, on the other hand, didn’t want to accept the reality that we were not home to put her to bed.  2 years ago, she cried on and on with my MIL when my husband and I went out of town for a wedding.  This was during the peak of S’s anxieties.  Her anxiety attacks carried through for 2 more months.  This time, she went to bed an hour earlier than 2 years ago, but still late.  She woke up when we came home and refused to go back to her own bed.

This morning, S seemed to be in a good mood.  She had a birthday party for a good friend at a local amusement park to go to.  She was excited to go, but as we pulled into the parking lot, she froze.  S didn’t want to get out of the car, and she was throwing a real tantrum.  At the very least, I told her, let’s just give her friend the present!  I basically dragged her out of the car screaming.  Anyone would have thought I was seriously abusing her.  We walked through the parking lot, and S insisted that she keep her eyes closed.  I told her no, because she needed to see where she was going.  I told her to open her eyes.  She refused.  I told her again, and to watch out for the curb.  She said no.  What happened?  She caught the high curb in the shin.  Now she was crying again.  (If only she had listened….sigh)

When she saw her friends, they came running to her, so excited to see her.  She suddenly burst into shouts of sheer joy and gave them a hug.  She was ecstatic.  For the next 2 hours, S was taking the rides with her friends, and running after them.  She was in heaven.  Tired, hot, in heaven.

The rest of the day went by without a hitch.  We had different friends come in and out of our house all afternoon.  S retreated to have her own time, but was fine saying hello to all the adults.

Come bed time, S was so tired.  Not a single whine from her.  I knew that our luck was going to run out.  Sure enough, I could hear my husband reading S her bedtime books that she had chosen.  I heard him close the books and walk across the room to turn out her light.   It came out very loud through the door.  Her hiccups of crying/tears.  My husband was soothing her, and I heard her bed springs as he laid next to her to calm her down.  I wonder how many days/nights of this before she starts to come back on track.

Last August, we traveled a lot, and all the transitions through S for a major loop.  This August, we traveled a lot, but she seems a little better.  She’s definitely anxious and talks a lot about school, starting Kindergarten.  She is not eating very well, also another sign.  But somehow, S seems just a few steps up from where she was last August.  Maybe I’m getting better at reading her signs, responding to it all better.  My husband, too.  We have come to expect different reactions from S as she goes up the peaks and into the valleys.  In about 10 days, when she starts Kindergarten, we’ll see where this all goes.

[Via http://blindlyflying.wordpress.com]

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Yes, UCan't.

When I was a high school senior, my parents gave me a clear choice. I could go to community college for two years, then transfer to UC Berkeley – or I could find richer parents. I went with Option One. I wrote an essay – no idea what on – filled out my forms, and, voila! Done and done. The whole deal probably took an hour, and the total cost of my education, including rent on my South Side apartment, was about five grand.

Those of you with teenagers contemplating college are probably rolling on the floor, either in hysterics or agony, possibly a piquant combination of the two.  Getting into college today is a busier business. It combines the stress of big game hunting with the frenzied tedium of a long-haul car trip.  There is no One School Option.  There are thousands, from which must be sifted hundreds, from which he plucks a possible twenty, then winnows it down to eight or ten. And then you and The Dad look at the bottom line and realize you don’t have enough functional, salable organs between you to cover one semester.

Our kitchen counter is buried beneath shiny view books printed on heavy stock, slick, seductive college porn. Our computer is bookmarked with a panoply of websites, on which our kid can click through Paradise Promised, the cloud-land citadels of high culture where the Life of the Mind couples ecstatically with Boundless Social Interaction. Learn! Grow! Coed Dorms! It’s everything he ever dreamed of – and it’s 50K a year.

There are places in this country where you can get a perfectly good house for 50K. Maybe we should just buy him a house, and let him figure the rest out for himself.

Or we could start a puppy mill. About time that dog started carrying her weight around here.  Meth’s pretty easy to make, isn’t it? Do you have to have a trailer? Is it too late to get an MBA? An MLS? Richer parents?

We’re a long way from home on this one, and the road trip has just begun. Already the car smells like gym socks and old banana peels. Somebody’s carsick, somebody has to pee. And there’s no place to pull off for the next six months.

[Via http://jennytripp.wordpress.com]

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Tragedy: Foster parents arrested in disappearance of CA boy

Another tragedy involving a child..

Coyfee signing off…

Foster parents arrested in disappearance of CA boy

  • By TERRY COLLINS, Associated Press Writer Terry Collins, Associated Press Writer – Sat Aug 29, 1:47 pm ET
OAKLAND, Calif. – The foster parents who held vigils pleading for the safe return of a missing 5-year-old boy with cerebral palsy have been arrested on suspicion of murder, Oakland police said Friday.

Louis Ross and Jennifer Campbell, who is the boy’s aunt, were being questioned by investigators in the case of Hasanni Campbell, who disappeared on Aug. 10 after Ross said he briefly left the boy outside his car in the parking lot of an upscale Oakland neighborhood shoe store where Campbell works.

The couple were arrested separately within an hour of each other, police spokesman Jeff Thomason said.

“This is not a missing persons case anymore. This is a homicide investigation,” Thomason said late Friday outside police headquarters in downtown Oakland. “We are talking to the people responsible. We do believe Hasanni Campbell is dead.”

Thomason would not say what led to the couple’s arrests or what led police to conclude that the boy was dead. Thomason said the boy’s body has not been found.

A team of investigators searched the couple’s home in Fremont on Friday.

The couple, who are engaged, took custody of Hasanni and his 1-year-old sister several months ago because their mother — Jennifer Campbell’s sister — had drug problems.

After the boy’s disappearance, his foster parents made tearful public pleas for his safe return, including vigils outside the shoe store. Dozens of volunteers handed out fliers with Hasanni’s face and held a car wash to add to a $10,000 reward.

There’s even a Web site — findhasanni.com — where his foster family tries to explain their role.

“We understand that there is a lot of speculation out there due to misconceptions about our family and the environment Hasanni was living in but to us he is a son, a brother, a family member and so much more and not just a foster child,” a message from the site reads.

Both have denied any involvement in his disappearance.

But 10 days before the boy vanished, Ross sent an expletive-filled text message to Campbell, threatening to leave the boy alone on a train station platform, according to a police search warrant affidavit.

In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle earlier this month, Ross said he sent the text message in frustration at a time when he planned to break up with Campbell, who is six months pregnant.

The day Hasanni disappeared, Ross said he went to the store’s front entrance to ask Campbell to open the back door, but when he returned to the parking lot, the boy was gone.

Police said they were mystified by how Hasanni could have disappeared from a crowded business district with no witnesses, and bloodhounds were unable to detect the scent of the missing boy outside the shoe shop.

Ross told a television station that he failed a lie detector test, but had cooperated with police “100 percent.”

Attorney John Burris, who has been advising the couple, said Friday he was surprised by their arrest.

“I’m not aware of any hard physical evidence that ties either one into a missing child,” Burris said.

Sherri-Lyn Miller, a volunteer whose company has created T-shirts and fliers during the search for Hasanni, said Friday she’s “stunned” by the couple’s arrests.

“I feel that we need to look for Hasanni even harder for him now,” Miller said. “I’m not going to stop looking for him.”

[Via http://conversationswitcoyfee.wordpress.com]

Saturday, August 29, 2009

relax? there's work to be done

The other day I took a  much needed break and went outside with a book.  I love my swing. 

The problem is once I am out there a short while I begin to notice the abundance of  weeds that could use my attention.

 I do love to play in the dirt.  I find it satisfying when I have a mound of weeds to gather up, but there are times I just want to swing.   Yet it is hard for me to relax when there is work to be done.  I have found that I am spending less and less time swinging. 

When I was a kid growing up I watched my mom come home from work and then proceed to work around the house until going to bed.   I attribute my love for eating out to the fact that when mom, dad, and I would go out to eat there was no work that needed to be done.  It was down time.  Otherwise, at home, when all the work was done then and only then would she sit down. 

I was determined to not do that to my children. It wasn’t easy though.  The condition of my house would stress me out more than it should have.  Yet I would be sure to schedule in bike rides, going to the park, playing games, doing things together.  They had my attention.   

Since the boys graduated I have noticed a change.  I seem to have morphed into my mother.  I can’t remember the last time I rode my bike.  (I happen to love to bike ride).   Curt helps around the house or I would really have a problem. 

It seems that my to do list is always screaming for my attention.  Learning to be able to ignore things must be an art that I have not mastered.   Truth is there is always work that can be done but that doesn’t mean it must be done right now. I say that but my upbringing wins out almost everytime.

Maybe I should move the gloves?  I noticed after I took the picture that my yard gloves are right in my line of vision when I sit on the swing.

Now some people may need to have reminders right in front of them.  For some it is too easy to ignore things that should be done.  That is not the area that I struggle in.

Taking some down time each day is my goal.  Learning to be able to be in my house and stop working is harder than it sounds.  This may be why on our day off you won’t find us at home. 

til next time

[Via http://ggirod.wordpress.com]

Friday, August 28, 2009

Various Thoughts, Faux Pas, and Improprieties

While still writing more on faith and science (more on Monday hopefully), I thought I would bring you up to speed on other things. Obviously, as evidenced by the pictures in my last post, daughter #3 was born – she’s quite easy going compared to the first two as newborns. Still that doesn’t stop me from spending a lot of time awake at 2 and 3 a.m. The more this occurs the more I am reminded for the third time in my life that being awake at such a time is very unnatural. Possibly demonic. Still the child needs to eat and I cannot deny her the opportunity. Why doesn’t Beth get up you may ask? Well, for starters, Beth carried our child and birthed her. I think she’s been through enough, don’t you? The least I can do is feed Ella Gray now that she’s here. Besides, I like her. I am back in the church office on Monday. Sadly, though I was able to leave the church alone for a week, the church could not do that for me. Alas, such is the life of ministry.

Keeping me occupied at 2 a.m. feedings is my new Blackberry Tour 9630 Smartphone. I had a Verizon VX6900 for almost two years and I wore that puppy out so bad that it basically refused to work anymore. In the past, I have used Palm and Windows Mobile platforms, resisting the urge the jump on the Blackberry bandwagon. Why? The same reason I refuse to join Facebook. But I must say this phone is the best I’ve ever owned. I am in love with a machine. So I prop up the child and bottle with one hand and surf the web with the other. At first I was watching TV but there is very little on to watch at that time. I did see a riveting documentary on UFOs. It creeped me out a little and so I turned on a light…

 

I’ve told you in the past that I spend a good amount of time thinking about strange (though often insignificant) questions. These questions can occupy me for weeks on end. I don’t tell my wife about these questions simply because I want  her to stay married to me. And discussing them would certainly run her off. My first strange question is one that any self-respecting religious person should ask themselves: would I make a good cult leader? After mulling over this for several days, my answer is mostly definitely yes. I personally believe I have what it takes to embarrass God.

 The second mental riddle is a little more complex. DNA consists of four bases that are abbreviated A, G, T, and C. I begin to think that all of my daughters have at least one (if not two) of these letters as their intials: ARN, CGN, EGN. I begin to think: would it be cool if I could work the initial “T” into a fourth child’s name? Then all DNA four bases would be represented in my children’s names. How cool would that be? Now that’s genetic coding, my friend! So, I began to make a mental list of male and female names that could complete the “sequence.” I doubt seriously that Beth is going to allow me to complete my own personal family of nucleotides. My only hope is that next time we’ll have twins and my dream of naming them Bonnie and Clyde will come true…

[Via http://samnunnally.wordpress.com]

MACHO GUWAPITO

The month of August in the Philippines is never complete without celebrating Quezon City and Quezon province day on the 21st and Linggo ng Wika in honor of one of our presidents, the late Pres. Manuel L. Quezon and the Filipino language.  And most schools nationwide do have annual activities to propagate the use of our own language. (Isn’t it ironic that I’m posting about these festivities when in fact I’m blogging using the universal language? lol)   The preschool of my son, Gabby is no exception. 

Last year, Gabby looked like a Katipunero when he wore this…

 

This year, he was in his fighting form again for the parade and a performance on stage wearing this…

 

Their school opted to finish their quarterly exams first before having the event so it was delayed for a week and was scheduled this morning.  My wife and I made sure that we attend this year’s together since she wasn’t able to fix her work schedule last year. My dad was ever present since his apo had started joining such extracurriculars.

The parade that was escorted by a mini band of drums started at around 8AM; it was a short walk  from their preschool to the next street where the baranggay hall covered court is.  

Look how parents prepared their kids for this…

 

      

I don’t have a sister, I grew up with 3 brothers.  I am happy having a son now but of course my wife and I would like to have cute little chubby girl/s of our own  soon someday   Aren’t they too cute for their Filipiniana costumes?

My wife and I and Gabby’s lolo were all there to watch our son’s sing-and-dance performance on stage with his schoolmates.  They danced in pairs to the tune of Ang Pipit.  

  

They also sang the song Kay Ganda ng Ating Musika in chorus… Some of the groups of grade school students recited nationalistic poems in Filipino but the performance that was applauded the most was a dance number from older grade schoolers to the tune of Rico J. Puno’s Macho Guwapito…. Gabby could have been more perfect for that song :D

Good job, Gabby!

After that morning activity, we trooped to Tomas Morato to munch on something that I’ll post next…

[Via http://docgelo.wordpress.com]

Homemade Gift | Teacher Appreciation

Wow.  I just had three posts in a row that included a photo with a chair.  Time for something new… 

This week is my son’s last day in his room at our daycare (he’s a big preschooler now) and every year I try to make a homemade gift for his teachers.  This year I decided to do a “Thank you for helping me grow” gift.  I found the idea here. 

For the photo, I used Picnik (a free photo editing site) to add text to my photo.  I thought all of the fonts by Kimberly Geswein were the cutest for a message from a child.  I ended up using the ”Love Ya Like a Sister” font.  We also used bamboo skewers since we didn’t have popsicle sticks on hand.  We then planted our peace lilies in Kardemumma pots from IKEA - one for each teacher.  I also included a personal note from my husband and I in four different beautiful handmade cards made by my friend Danielle (check out here amazing cards here).

[Via http://mimosaandmocha.wordpress.com]

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dear Governor Perdue . . .

Over the next several days, we will be posting letters written by early childhood education supporters in response to our August 26th post. We hope that Governor Perdue is listening.

Dear Governor Perdue:

I am writing you today to ask that Smart Start be identified and protected as an essential service in North Carolina.  Onslow County is a support community for Camp Lejeune and New River Air Station as you well know.  Our community is one of seven in North Carolina that will see and have seen a significant increase in our population due to the influx of troops and dependants.  Seventy-five percent of our children ages 0-5 are active duty military dependents.  Every service our agency provides impacts military children.  To cut Smart Start further means that you continue to cut services to active duty military children.

by usag.yongsan

As you are well aware, child care keeps parents working and it is hard to imagine that our troops, who defend our country, are left wondering who is going to keep their children while they are working.  For profit child cares and the Department of Defense are working diligently to increase the availability of child care slots but our population is growing faster than they are able to build.  Currently, our child care facilities, including the Department of Defense facilities, are at maximum capacity and we are still left with a significant population we are unable to serve.  This issue will only be amplified as more troops and their families are relocated to our area.

Furthermore, as the industry grows in our area we are facing another challenge and that is the lack of a child care workforce.  With the projected child care facility growth we anticipate within the next three years, Onslow County will need to expand our child care workforce by 47.9%.  The Onslow County Partnership for Children works closely with community leaders to keep child care in the forefront of everyone’s minds but we can only do so much and our Smart Start funds play a vital role in the success of our economic future. 

Another economic impact Smart Start has for Onslow County is the child care subsidy that assists low-income families with paying for child care tuition so they may remain employed. This type of assistance has an economic impact both indirectly and induced. An example of an indirect effect of child care subsidy is from child care centers making purchases. The induced effect is from the child care workforce spending wages. Both of which generate revenue for North Carolina.

In closing, I am asking that you protect Smart Start funding.  Smart Start has produced a significant return on investment for North Carolina and we cannot withstand more cuts and reversions.  I look forward to your reply. 

Sincerely, 

Dawn Rochelle

Executive Director, Onslow County Partnership for Children

[Via http://ncchildren.wordpress.com]

What Death Has Taught Me

Excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul Page 218 – What Death Has Taught Me – Barb Kerr “Death” has taught me many things.  Things that, if listed, would fill pages time wouldn’t permit to be read.  For today, it’s taught me: To hold onto my children a little longer and a little tighter when we hug. To hold onto my friends a little longer and a little tighter when we hug.  That I’m not being silly telling my children I love them every day. To hug my children even when they don’t seem to want to be hugged. To treasure bedtime chats, stories of friends and sharing inner thoughts. That fingerprints on the wall are dirt to one and treasures to another. That I’ll not wait to do things, and I’ll not wait to say things.

[Via http://culturepology.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Another Rant and Something To Look Forward To!

London here I come!

Ok..  not so much a rant this time.  More of an update.. with some frustration mixed in.

I am currently waiting on the divorce papers to arrive.  They were supposed to be here last week, not sure what the hold up is.  The mail here seems to run really slow, so that could be it.   My fear is that he is making some changes to the decree.  Which really he can’t do without my permission.. and I certainly will not sign anything that I don’t agree to.   At the moment he is not exactly in the most reasonable state of mind though.

The kids tell me that he has been drinking again, as of last week, as far as they know…. possibly longer.  This is the fourth week that I have been gone, which means he did not stay on the wagon long.    Longer than in the past.. but not long enough.   All the promises and amends that he made to the kids and me…. meant nothing.    Things I have heard time and time again and finally stopped believing.  But, the kids really had their hopes up that dad meant it this time.  I knew better, that is why I am no longer there.   And the guilt trips that he and everyone tried to lay on me for leaving him now… now, when he is finally getting help.  Well… I told you so… didn’t I?  They can all eat their words now… I don’t care what they think of me anymore.   I am doing what I need to do for myself.

However, I am worried about the kids’ well being.   Not that I am afraid he will be abusive to them, not physically anyway.   Emotionally, he can be a bully though.  Now that I’m not there he will be taking things out on our oldest son.. and when he isn’t there..it will be the oldest girl.  In fact, he did go off on her this past weekend, because our son wasn’t there.   Yeah, it’s scary how well I know him.  Well, the addict version of him anyway.   I don’t really know him.. the real him.  I have only seen him on rare occasions.   He seems like a wonderful man, wish he would have been around more often.   I know I married that person,  but he left me a long time ago and only visited occasionally.

So, now I am in a position of trying to decide what to do next.  I can’t go into a lot of detail here.. not yet…just in case.

I am really tired of the drama… but at least I don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis anymore.  The not knowing how he is going to be… walking on egg shells… dealing with this person, this addict that I can’t stand.   I tried so often to share with him how it felt that the people he works with get to see the best of him everyday… and I was left to deal with the drunk.  I saw HIM briefly in the mornings.. but even still it wasn’t the same, he was still under the influence even when sober because his mind was clouded.  It’s sad.   My oldest son said something so sad to me… he said that maybe his dad will finally figure out that he has a problem (because right now he is saying he isn’t an alcoholic just a heavy drinker) when all his kids are moved out and no longer speaking to him.. and the only friends he has left are other alcoholics.

Speaking of other alcoholics… I was also told that several of his AA friends were over at the house on Friday night.  DRUNK.  They were all drinking together.  Isn’t that nice?   One of them, a woman that I met at the treatment facility.. her second time through… actually lost custody of her daughter because of alcohol.   There was another man there who was on the verge of losing his wife and kids if he didn’t get help, (sound familiar? )  who I also met at the treatment facility.   According to my kids they were all drinking very heavy.  She was so drunk she was slurring and could barely walk… she ended up spending the night at the house.   The man was too drunk to drive, but, apparently did anyway.  What a great example for our kids… how very responsible of their father.    And just the fact that my kids know all this and were exposed to it…. really pisses me off.   These weren’t his “drinking buddies”… these were fellow AA people.. addicts, people who’s lives have already been destroyed… much like is own….. And yet.. he is not an alcoholic.  Whatever.

If it weren’t for the kids.. I wouldn’t even care.

Now I am preparing for my trip to London next month…. I will be there for 10 days!!  I am so looking forward to it.  I have always wanted to see London, since I was a young girl.  My ex always refused to take me.. anytime it would come up he would roll his eyes and suggest some other place.   I’ve  loved all the places I have been.. I love to travel… but this one was important to me…my dream… and he refused.   Also, if all goes well, my divorce will be final on the day I come back.   So…  This will mark a new beginning for me… my liberation… a celebration of me and my independence!   Can’t wait!

[Via http://hisfavoriteredhead.wordpress.com]

Meth: A Part of Many Families

   I wanted to write a short post on this subject because of the seriousness.   I was talking to a police officer and I asked him what are the chances of a meth addict to come clean.  He stated that statistically 10 % chance.   Meth destroys families, friends and even brothers and sisters.  It not only rots away the body but it destroys the soul.   What is the answer to the problem?  I don’t know what it is.  Meth can be made out of so many household products, for instance: rat poison, bleach,sudafed and sometimes whatever they can get their hands on.  I think laws should be stricter on these addicts because they loose their hope and dignity.  They loose their will to live.   God is our master and Lord not anything on this earth.  We all need to pray hard for families that are suffering because of this addiction.  Pray and hope for the children who are in these homes at the time of drug use.   This drug can enter any home no one is excluded.  Pray, watch and do not let your guard down parents. God Bless

[Via http://johnpreiss.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

To help homeless, first accurately count them

“I felt compelled to post this article from May 2009. It spells out the ones forgotten when you think of homelessness, the children. If this is true in one county in Florida, what is it like where you live? What can you do about it?” John Shelton – Editor

Published Saturday, May 2, 2009

A single mother of three rents a garage from another single mother of three living temporarily in a foreclosed home belonging to a third party. The house dweller fails to use the first woman’s rent payment for the utility bill as promised and everyone is scrambling for new shelter.

It’s an actual case in west Pasco with social workers now trying to assist the woman who made her rent payments in good faith. So here’s a question: Are the kids considered homeless? Depends upon whom you ask.

A recently completed homeless count in Pasco County would say “no” because the youngsters had a roof over their heads on the day of the survey. Yet, the federal guidelines for serving homeless children in the public school district says “yes” because the families are doubled up in a makeshift living arrangement due to economic hardship.

Therein lies one of the problems confronting advocates, social services agencies and churches serving the homeless: counting heads. Successful passage of HB 597 in the Florida Legislature on Friday is an attempt to change that. Among the provisions of the bill is creation of a single definition of homeless to include people and families living in doubled-up homes or in motels.

The just-released results of the Pasco coalitions’s count illustrates the problematic definitions. On Jan. 28, volunteers calculated 4,527 people in Pasco were homeless, an 11 percent increase over a year ago. But the same survey identified just 4 percent, or 181 people, as children. The state average is 21 percent and last year’s Pasco survey calculated that 1,400 children in Pasco, or 35 percent of the total count, had no place to call home.

All indications are the number of children was undercounted this year. Pasco School District social workers report helping more than 1,800 homeless children with enrollment this school year, including providing assistance obtaining supplies, clothing and transportation. Many of the children reside in doubled-up households or in motels.

Extrapolation of the district numbers with the Jan. 28 single-day count would push the county’s homeless population to more than 6,100 people, or a nearly 50 percent increase over a year ago. It’s an eye-opening jump attributable to a recession, high unemployment and increasing foreclosures. Nearly two-thirds of Pasco’s 5,000 foreclosure cases involved primary residences.

Why does it matter? Because the community, as it maps a 10-year plan to assist the homeless, needs an accurate accounting of the far-reaching problem. Too often the public perception of Pasco’s homeless is defined by a rousted encampment in the woods or a panhandler seeking beer money on a street corner. Children are an afterthought.

Ignoring the problem is unrealistic. It’s too expensive and results in higher hospitalization and public safety costs to the public and diminished educational opportunities for children. Multiple studies show the annual cost of feeding, incarcerating and proving health care to a chronically homeless person is tens of thousands of dollars higher than a comprehensive assistance program. Just think of the public safety costs accumulated this week when Pasco deputies evicted a homeless encampment from private property in Hudson and investigated a stabbing involving a homeless suspect in Land O’Lakes.

While advocates continue devising the 10-year plan for homeless intervention, one church in Holiday isn’t waiting for the written document. The Community United Methodist Church, where the Rev. Dan Campbell doubles as pastor and president of the Homeless Coalition of Pasco, is closing in June. It will reopen as a Joining Hands Community Mission Inc., a one-stop resource center and shelter to help homeless families with public assistance, employment searches and other tasks.

It’s a commendable mission. The unprecedented and much-needed community effort in west Pasco will allow people to progress from an emergency shelter to transitional housing to a permanent home — the true aim of any homeless program.

[Via http://mycornerministry.wordpress.com]

A whirlwind long weekend

This post will have to get broken up into parts.  So consider this part one.

We went on a LONG weekend to see my brother and his family in Virginia Beach.  It’s about a 7 hour ride from our house.  We were supposed to leave early Friday morning.  But with the warnings of Hurricane Bill, we left unexpectedly on Thursday night so we could still enjoy Friday at the beach.  We thought we could drive through the night and arrive around 2am.  We couldn’t make it.  We gave up at 11pm and found a hotel in Eastern Maryland, near the Virginia border.

Have you noticed that vacationing with young children is really not a vacation for you?  It’s so much work!  And you’d think they’d be exhausted at 11pm.  We walked into the hotel/motel lobby, and you would have thought they walked right into Magic Kingdom.  They were laying on the couches in the lobby, yelling because they thought the echo effect was cool, and running to and from the sliding glass doors.  We were so mortified, but we couldn’t calm them down!!  I’m sure the receptionist was disappointed that she gave the 3rd to last room to us.

As soon as S realized that we were going right to sleep, she got whiny and teary.  For about a 1/2 hr, in the dark, I could hear her telling my husband, “Daddy, I’m ready to go. I don’t need sleep.”  And each time she did, M would sit up, blow S a kiss, and said, “Feel better. I’ll go, too.”  As if they could just leave the 2 of them and hit the road.  Trust me, I loved the idea when I was dead tired and just wanted to go to sleep.  But there was no way that was happening.  I fell asleep before anyone else.  When I woke up briefly at 12:45am, the room was quiet.  Everyone had fallen asleep.

At 6:45am, I felt breathing on my face.  M was staring at me, not saying a word, but breathing on me.  Kind of creepy yet sweet.  By 7:30ish, we were back on the road, with S in tears saying she wanted to stay at the hotel (I’ve decided, I just can’t win with her on trips.  I do my best to ignore it all, but it really grates on me when I’m tired, too).

We got to VA Beach by 10am.  We literally dropped our thing in the house, got into our bathing suits, and went straight to the beach.  It was awesome!  A beautiful day, with a slight breeze, the waves were a little rougher than I would have liked.  Bill was coming in, and I knew the waves were going to be CRAZY!  It was so different than any of our other beach trips the last couple of years.  So many surfers were way out.  We could see dolphins out by them.  I hear in the evenings, the sharks come out there, too!  S and M couldn’t get enough of watching their older cousins boogie boarding.  Together in the sand, they were digging huge sandpits, with bridges and tunnels connecting them.  S pretty much stayed in the water the whole time.  M started out that way, but got washed to shore by a couple of big waves.  One of them knocked her right into the knee of a man who was trying to catch her and get out of her way.  That sort of did her in for the rest of the day.

I get this feeling every time I see my girls with their cousins, from either of my brothers’ families.  The cousins are older, both sets 10 and 8.  Yet, they are so sweet to my girls.  This family we saw have 2 boys.  They totally take care of them.  They couldn’t be more boy boys, and my girls, girly girls in comparison.  But my kids have so much love and adoration for their boy cousins, and they have so much love and tenderness to my kids.  It’s extremely sweet.  We see each pair once a year if we are lucky.  It’s just so hard to get down to VA or to IL.   Each time we get ready to leave, I wish they had more opportunities to build that relationship.  I never really got to see my cousins since most of them lived in another country.  As a child, I felt that I really missed out.  I had hoped that wouldn’t happen to my kids, too.

From the beach, we went back to their house, and straight into their pool.  Watching them swim around so well, S found the confidence again to ditch her little bubble and swim around the pool without any flotation device.  She was jumping off the diving board with them, having the time of her life.  M wanted to get rid of hers, too.  Not an option, but she gave it a whirl.  She was okay where she could touch until she went into the deep end.  My husband jumped to get her.  She came up with her arms around him, grinning ear to ear, saying, “You saved me, Daddy.”  We all had to roll our eyes.  Will she ever learn her lesson?

We all went bowling together, too.  S, for the first time, really got into it.  She figured out when it was her turn, and did her little umph push to her ball.  It took what seemed like an eternity for the ball to knock down the pins, but she was having so much fun with her cousins.  M broke out into a dance when she knocked down her pins, yelling, “I won I won”.  I last took them bowling about 4 months ago, and after the first 4 frames, they both just wanted to go home.  This was the first time we found shoes in M’s size.  She was ecstatic!!  It takes so little sometimes to make them happy.

They didn’t want to leave.  S cried on and off for about an hour on the drive back north, saying she wanted to stay with her cousins.  Sweet and sad.  More next time…And there is most definitely more!

[Via http://blindlyflying.wordpress.com]

Monday, August 24, 2009

CIS of Lee County - CIS crushes fundraising goal with "Dancing' event

CIS crushes fundraising goal with “Dancing’ event

By ERIN ZUREICK

ezureick@sanfordherald.com

Aug 23,2009

SANFORD — It had been about 30 years since Wing Man Tam last danced, but that didn’t stop him from signing up this summer for Dancing with the Lee County Stars — and it didn’t stop him and partner Karla Koballa from winning the competition’s coveted mirror ball trophy.

“I really enjoyed it,” Tam said after collecting his prize for a shag routine. “It shows how much the community comes together. I played a very small part.”

The event, hosted by Communities in Schools of Lee County at the Dennis Wicker Civic Center, sold out all 700 of its tickets. It was patterned after ABC’s hit television show, “Dancing with the Stars,” which pairs celebrity couples with trained dancers for a competition.

The winner among 15 Lee County couples was determined by total fundraising. Tam and Koballa netted about $7,500.

CIS raised nearly $58,000 total, an important sum since the organization was close to closing its doors earlier this year. The nonprofit raises money for education programs such as BackPack Pals, e-mentoring, LEGO robotics and a teacher resource room.

“When we started this, we had to decide whether to do a fundraiser this year or shut our doors,” CIS Board of Directors Chairwoman Kim Pritt told the audience. “Thanks to you we are able to stay open another year. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.”

Tickets were purchased for $50 in advance, and buyers could designate then who their votes would go to. Votes also could be bought for $10 each at the event.

Some contestants were not beyond a little gamesmanship to try and get audience members to reach into their pockets.

After performing an upbeat number to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” Central Carolina Community College instructor Carl Bryan and Kelly’s Dance teacher Dana Slate were challenged for $200 to dance on a table.

The two were also the only pair of the night to garner a perfect score of 30, with a 10 from each judge. They also won the night’s artistic prize and came in fourth for fundraising.

“I’m was ecstatic,” Slate said afterward. “We had a lot of fun together.”

Bryan said the two only practiced four times.

“She could teach a rock to dance,” he said. “There was a good chemistry and a good click throughout the whole thing.”

Miss North Carolina 2009 Katherine Southard also participated with Liberty University student Matt LaSasso. Earlier in the day, she toured Central Carolina Hospital.

A dance major in college, Southard said the two practiced their tango three times. She added she enjoys getting to tour the state doing charitable work.

“I love it. I really do,” she said. “To get to do benefits like this all year long is really wonderful.”

Second-place overall winners were Dana Atkins, of DWA Photography, and Gregg Hamm, owner of Cafe 121 and Lee County Schools teacher.

Third-place was Toni Davenport, of J.T. Davenport and Sons, and David Morse, of Sports World.

Koballa said she and Tam practiced about twice a week. She has been shagging for 14 years.

“I’m just thrilled,” Koballa said. “Wing Man is popular. People love him. He is very personable.”

CIS Program Coordinator Laura Biediger said she was happy with how the fundraiser turned out.

“I thought I would feel really tired right now, but I’m running on adrenaline,” she said.

[Via http://cisnc.wordpress.com]

How Can I Get My Child to Get More Active?

By Dr. Robyn Silverman

Dear Dr. Robyn,

We have 3 children (ages 11, 7, and 4)– and only 1 of them is really into sports.  I worry that the others are going to become very unhealthy because the activities they choose to do typically don’t require them to do much physical activity.  I worry about their weight, their health…everything. I don’t want to harp on them because I don’t want to make them hate getting active or make them think that I think they’re fat or they’re going to get fat (1 of them is a girl). Please give me some suggestions on how I can help them to get more active!   —Lisa M., Durham, NC

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for your question–

There’s so much talk about body issues these days—on the one hand, we’re dealing with what is being labeled “an obesity epidemic”  and on the other hand, we’re dealing with more and more children with body image issues (both boys and girls ), eating disorders, and challenges with food.  On top of that, more children are becoming lethargic and leading sedentary lifestyles —perhaps a function of new and fun technologies as much as more homework, more parents at work during the after school hours, and less “active time” during school hours due to budget cuts.

Interestingly, as children get older, their activity level drops dramatically.  In fact, according to the National Institutes of Health:

  • Ages 9-11 years old: More than 90% of the children evaluated met the recommended level of 60 minutes of more of MVPA per day.
  • Age 15: Only 31% met the recommended level of MVPA per weekday and only 17% met the recommended activity level on weekends.

Many of you who are reading this blog, like Lisa, are parents who are interested in getting their children active from a very young age.  There are many studies that show us that children who are active have fewer problems with weight and body image. So how can we get our kids to love being active?

(1)    Play with them: Children learn by what they see.  If their parents are sitting on the sidelines, they are more likely to do so too.  Get involved—bike ride with your kids—play hopscotch, jump-rope, and play ball in the back yard.  Join activities with them.  There are plenty of fun things you can do together! Try martial arts where family programs are prominent—or swimming programs that allow you to get in the pool with your kids. Get in touch with a Powerful Words Member School- so many of them have family programs!   By getting involved in an “active way” you relay “this is important—not just for you to do, but for the family.”

(2) Get messy and dirty: If children are always afraid to get their clothes dirty, they are less likely to get active.  Make sure that their play clothes are exactly that—for play.  And don’t be afraid to get dirty with them!  Run around—roll around—splash in puddles and get sweaty!  It’s fun and your kids will enjoy, well, being kids!  And don’t make the mistake that only boys should get messy—girls should too.  We never want our girls to think that they can’t be as active, powerful, and strong as the boys.  These sentiments get transferred to girls easily—so be sure that you are saying something empowering rather than destructive.

(3) Make the time: There are so many things to do in the day—school, homework, piano practice, family time—that it’s often difficult to make time to get active.  But getting active isn’t something that should be negotiable or expendable. We need to make the time for it.  Children should be active for at least an hour per day! If they don’t like competitive sports, there are plenty of other activities that will get them moving—martial arts, gymnastics, dancing and swimming are all great ways to get active without necessarily getting competitive.

(4) Let them know that you’re proud: Whether they win, lose, have a tough day, or a great day, let them know you’re proud of the way they get out there and take responsibility for keeping their bodies healthy.  If we are constantly being judged on how well we did when we were active, we may be less apt to get active!  Praise effort over outcome—and determination over trophies and you will be helping your child learn to love activity.

(5) Help them to set goals: It’s fun to achieve. We achieve by setting appropriate goals for ourselves and then going after them!  Be warned though—make sure these are YOUR CHILD’S GOALS—not yours.  And be sure that these goals are not “in comparison to” a sibling, friend, or other peers.  Make your child’s physical goals something that is right for him or her—and that is completely about him or her and nobody else.  This is not “the biggest loser” or “Survivor.” Your child should not get “kicked off the island” if s/he isn’t as strong, fast, or successful as anyone else.

(6) Get them active inside too: While so many technologies are linked to sitting on the couch, there are also technologies that can get kids moving.  The Wii Fit and Dance Revolution are great ways to get active while inside on a rainy day– or just a day that the kids want to play with some neat technology. In fact, these games that are now being used as a source of fitness in gym classes. Studies are beginning to show that they “make a very positive contribution to players’ stress management, weight management, fitness and health.”

(7) Be innovative: Don’t love sports but love science? Go on nature walks! Prefers to history over hopscotch? Go walk the museums.  Think outside the box.  Sports aren’t the only way to get physical.  Children can get active by gardening, dancing, jump-roping, building and painting outside.  Go on camping trips or boating excursions. Splash in the rain. And again– all sports aren’t competitive with big crowds.  Your child might be more interested in individual activities and sports where they can work at their own pace and make their own personal goals. Moving the body feels good– it’s just a matter of finding out what your child loves best.

(6) Don’t tie it to weight: It would be easy to do so—after all, weight is a huge issue these days.  But when we tie physical activity to “exercise” and “losing weight” we make it seem like work—or punishment.  That’s no fun!  Children can be physically active at any size—so praise them for getting out there no matter what the scale says. 

In the end, we all want our children to get active to be healthy.  Our bodies need physical activity for the health of our cardio-vascular system, our muscles, our brains, and our souls.  It feels good to get active.  Let’s teach our children young to love getting up off the couch and moving around.  It will serve them well…for the rest of their lives.

[Via http://drrobyn.wordpress.com]

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sarcasm Jar

This is a cross-post from another blog I”m writing (??) at www.ptotoday.com. Stealing from myself, hmmm.

I know very well that children learn by example, but there are some times I would rather not be reminded of it.

When my sons were locked firmly in pre-adolescence, I noticed certain words creeping into their vocabulary I didn’t want to hear. Where did they get that stuff? They would say the words then look at me to see how I reacted. I said I didn’t like that language, and they shouldn’t use it in public places, even if the public place was camped in front of the television watching a movie in which the actors used the language I was objecting to.

It went on. It was a test of my authority. It lowered the level of discourse.

Civilization was at stake.

So I introduced the age-old institution of the potty-mouth jar. Or swear jar. You know what I mean – a jar in the kitchen that someone puts money in every time they break the rule. “It will cost you a quarter every time you use one of those words,” I said.

My children immediately made me define exactly which words I meant. “You know what I mean,” I said.

It was shortly after that that I made a startling discovery.

I didn’t realize I used those words, and when I did, I thought I was using those words only in the privacy of my own personal universe. Replacing plumbing fixtures, for instance – you would think that would be a private experience.

Not when you yell really loudly.

Or when I got cut off in traffic.

Or waited on the phone for forty minutes to talk to someone at the Deparment of Motor Vehicles.

“Twenty-five cents, Dad,” my children gleefully announced.

“#%@!!!!#!” I said.

When I realized who was putting the most money in the jar, I cleaned up my act, declared victory, and retreated.

“No more swear jar,” I announced. “You’ve learned your lesson.”

And we all behaved reasonably well until they reached adolescence. Suddenly, it wasn’t language, it was attitude. Somewhere on their way to adulthood, my boys had become the most sarcastic beings on the face of the earth. Nothing escaped their cynical comments.

So I got a glass gallon jar and wrote on its side “Sarcasm Jar – 25 cents”

I introduced it at dinnertime.

“This will stop your sarcasm,” I said. “I’m serious. Every time someone’s sarcastic, they owe a quarter.”

“Dad,” my older son said, sincerity plastered across his face, “we’re not sarcastic.”

“Yeah, right,” I said.

“Twenty-five cents, Dad!” my younger son.

“That’s not fair!” I said. “You’re trying to make me sarcastic.”

“Dad, we would never do that,” the younger one said.

“Oh, sure!” I said.

“Twenty-five cents more!” the older one said.

“Like I’m going to pay,” I said.

“More!” they shrieked.

They were both in hysterics.

“Forget the sarcasm jar,” I said. “I hope you learned your lesson.”

“We learned from the best, Dad,” they both said.

Like I said, there’s some things of which I don’t want to be reminded. Like that my sons are smarter than me.

[Via http://billharley.wordpress.com]

Curled Up with a Family Story:A Review of “Momma. Where Are You From?” by Marie Bradby

Title: “Momma, Where Are You From?”

Genre: Children’s (Ages 5-12), Afro-American Fiction

Author: Marie Bradby

Illustrator: Chris K. Soentpiet

Publisher: Orchard Books, New York: New York. 2000.

“We can travel roads in my memory…”

I absolutely love “Momma, Where Are You From?”. This book gives life and color to Black history, its rich traditions in American life and beckons the reader to remember their own stories…and pass them down.

“Momma. Where Are You From?” is not read like a book—it quickly envelopes you until you forget the pages beneath your fingers, and feel like you are curled up on “Momma’s” lap, hearing the family stories. Momma’s stories circle the events of her life—growing up in a small town, shelling beans for dinner, facing discrimination during the Jim Crow era, and finally sitting on the porch with her daughter, sharing memories.

Combined with the stories, the illustrations are beautiful, no detail is missed; each picture in itself imparts a story. There is history within these pictures—the segregated schoolhouse, the children doing domestic labor to help make ends meet, the family gathering to listen to music and share a meal. These are stories we can all relate to—the wondering “Where are you from?” and how the answer inevitably connects the past to the paths of our own lives.

I highly recommend “Momma, Where Are You From?” It is a dignified testament to Black history and also a vivid portrayal of the struggles, joys and faces of family.

Lynn Mari, 2009.

Chirs Soentpiet: “Momma, Where Are You From?” Include Activities to do with your children when reading this book.

[Via http://inourhearts.wordpress.com]