The other day I took a much needed break and went outside with a book. I love my swing.
The problem is once I am out there a short while I begin to notice the abundance of weeds that could use my attention.
I do love to play in the dirt. I find it satisfying when I have a mound of weeds to gather up, but there are times I just want to swing. Yet it is hard for me to relax when there is work to be done. I have found that I am spending less and less time swinging.
When I was a kid growing up I watched my mom come home from work and then proceed to work around the house until going to bed. I attribute my love for eating out to the fact that when mom, dad, and I would go out to eat there was no work that needed to be done. It was down time. Otherwise, at home, when all the work was done then and only then would she sit down.
I was determined to not do that to my children. It wasn’t easy though. The condition of my house would stress me out more than it should have. Yet I would be sure to schedule in bike rides, going to the park, playing games, doing things together. They had my attention.
Since the boys graduated I have noticed a change. I seem to have morphed into my mother. I can’t remember the last time I rode my bike. (I happen to love to bike ride). Curt helps around the house or I would really have a problem.
It seems that my to do list is always screaming for my attention. Learning to be able to ignore things must be an art that I have not mastered. Truth is there is always work that can be done but that doesn’t mean it must be done right now. I say that but my upbringing wins out almost everytime.
Maybe I should move the gloves? I noticed after I took the picture that my yard gloves are right in my line of vision when I sit on the swing.
Now some people may need to have reminders right in front of them. For some it is too easy to ignore things that should be done. That is not the area that I struggle in.
Taking some down time each day is my goal. Learning to be able to be in my house and stop working is harder than it sounds. This may be why on our day off you won’t find us at home.
While still writing more on faith and science (more on Monday hopefully), I thought I would bring you up to speed on other things. Obviously, as evidenced by the pictures in my last post, daughter #3 was born – she’s quite easy going compared to the first two as newborns. Still that doesn’t stop me from spending a lot of time awake at 2 and 3 a.m. The more this occurs the more I am reminded for the third time in my life that being awake at such a time is very unnatural. Possibly demonic. Still the child needs to eat and I cannot deny her the opportunity. Why doesn’t Beth get up you may ask? Well, for starters, Beth carried our child and birthed her. I think she’s been through enough, don’t you? The least I can do is feed Ella Gray now that she’s here. Besides, I like her. I am back in the church office on Monday. Sadly, though I was able to leave the church alone for a week, the church could not do that for me. Alas, such is the life of ministry.
Keeping me occupied at 2 a.m. feedings is my new Blackberry Tour 9630 Smartphone. I had a Verizon VX6900 for almost two years and I wore that puppy out so bad that it basically refused to work anymore. In the past, I have used Palm and Windows Mobile platforms, resisting the urge the jump on the Blackberry bandwagon. Why? The same reason I refuse to join Facebook. But I must say this phone is the best I’ve ever owned. I am in love with a machine. So I prop up the child and bottle with one hand and surf the web with the other. At first I was watching TV but there is very little on to watch at that time. I did see a riveting documentary on UFOs. It creeped me out a little and so I turned on a light…
I’ve told you in the past that I spend a good amount of time thinking about strange (though often insignificant) questions. These questions can occupy me for weeks on end. I don’t tell my wife about these questions simply because I want her to stay married to me. And discussing them would certainly run her off. My first strange question is one that any self-respecting religious person should ask themselves: would I make a good cult leader? After mulling over this for several days, my answer is mostly definitely yes. I personally believe I have what it takes to embarrass God.
The second mental riddle is a little more complex. DNA consists of four bases that are abbreviated A, G, T, and C. I begin to think that all of my daughters have at least one (if not two) of these letters as their intials: ARN, CGN, EGN. I begin to think: would it be cool if I could work the initial “T” into a fourth child’s name? Then all DNA four bases would be represented in my children’s names. How cool would that be? Now that’s genetic coding, my friend! So, I began to make a mental list of male and female names that could complete the “sequence.” I doubt seriously that Beth is going to allow me to complete my own personal family of nucleotides. My only hope is that next time we’ll have twins and my dream of naming them Bonnie and Clyde will come true…
The month of August in the Philippines is never complete without celebrating Quezon City and Quezon province day on the 21st and Linggo ng Wika in honor of one of our presidents, the late Pres. Manuel L. Quezon and the Filipino language. And most schools nationwide do have annual activities to propagate the use of our own language. (Isn’t it ironic that I’m posting about these festivities when in fact I’m blogging using the universal language? lol) The preschool of my son, Gabby is no exception.
Last year, Gabby looked like a Katipunero when he wore this…
This year, he was in his fighting form again for the parade and a performance on stage wearing this…
Their school opted to finish their quarterly exams first before having the event so it was delayed for a week and was scheduled this morning. My wife and I made sure that we attend this year’s together since she wasn’t able to fix her work schedule last year. My dad was ever present since his apo had started joining such extracurriculars.
The parade that was escorted by a mini band of drums started at around 8AM; it was a short walk from their preschool to the next street where the baranggay hall covered court is.
Look how parents prepared their kids for this…
I don’t have a sister, I grew up with 3 brothers. I am happy having a son now but of course my wife and I would like to have cute little chubby girl/s of our own soon someday Aren’t they too cute for their Filipiniana costumes?
My wife and I and Gabby’s lolo were all there to watch our son’s sing-and-dance performance on stage with his schoolmates. They danced in pairs to the tune of Ang Pipit.
They also sang the song Kay Ganda ng Ating Musika in chorus… Some of the groups of grade school students recited nationalistic poems in Filipino but the performance that was applauded the most was a dance number from older grade schoolers to the tune of Rico J. Puno’s Macho Guwapito…. Gabby could have been more perfect for that song :D
Good job, Gabby!
After that morning activity, we trooped to Tomas Morato to munch on something that I’ll post next…
Wow. I just had three posts in a row that included a photo with a chair. Time for something new…
This week is my son’s last day in his room at our daycare (he’s a big preschooler now) and every year I try to make a homemade gift for his teachers. This year I decided to do a “Thank you for helping me grow” gift. I found the idea here.
For the photo, I used Picnik (a free photo editing site) to add text to my photo. I thought all of the fonts by Kimberly Geswein were the cutest for a message from a child. I ended up using the ”Love Ya Like a Sister” font. We also used bamboo skewers since we didn’t have popsicle sticks on hand. We then planted our peace lilies in Kardemumma pots from IKEA - one for each teacher. I also included a personal note from my husband and I in four different beautiful handmade cards made by my friend Danielle (check out here amazing cards here).
Over the next several days, we will be posting letters written by early childhood education supporters in response to our August 26th post. We hope that Governor Perdue is listening.
Dear Governor Perdue:
I am writing you today to ask that Smart Start be identified and protected as an essential service in North Carolina. Onslow County is a support community for Camp Lejeune and New River Air Station as you well know. Our community is one of seven in North Carolina that will see and have seen a significant increase in our population due to the influx of troops and dependants. Seventy-five percent of our children ages 0-5 are active duty military dependents. Every service our agency provides impacts military children. To cut Smart Start further means that you continue to cut services to active duty military children.
by usag.yongsan
As you are well aware, child care keeps parents working and it is hard to imagine that our troops, who defend our country, are left wondering who is going to keep their children while they are working. For profit child cares and the Department of Defense are working diligently to increase the availability of child care slots but our population is growing faster than they are able to build. Currently, our child care facilities, including the Department of Defense facilities, are at maximum capacity and we are still left with a significant population we are unable to serve. This issue will only be amplified as more troops and their families are relocated to our area.
Furthermore, as the industry grows in our area we are facing another challenge and that is the lack of a child care workforce. With the projected child care facility growth we anticipate within the next three years, Onslow County will need to expand our child care workforce by 47.9%. The Onslow County Partnership for Children works closely with community leaders to keep child care in the forefront of everyone’s minds but we can only do so much and our Smart Start funds play a vital role in the success of our economic future.
Another economic impact Smart Start has for Onslow County is the child care subsidy that assists low-income families with paying for child care tuition so they may remain employed. This type of assistance has an economic impact both indirectly and induced. An example of an indirect effect of child care subsidy is from child care centers making purchases. The induced effect is from the child care workforce spending wages. Both of which generate revenue for North Carolina.
In closing, I am asking that you protect Smart Start funding. Smart Start has produced a significant return on investment for North Carolina and we cannot withstand more cuts and reversions. I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Dawn Rochelle
Executive Director, Onslow County Partnership for Children
Excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul
Page 218 – What Death Has Taught Me – Barb Kerr
“Death” has taught me many things. Things that, if listed, would fill pages time wouldn’t permit to be read. For today, it’s taught me:
To hold onto my children a little longer and a little tighter when we hug.
To hold onto my friends a little longer and a little tighter when we hug.
That I’m not being silly telling my children I love them every day.
To hug my children even when they don’t seem to want to be hugged.
To treasure bedtime chats, stories of friends and sharing inner thoughts.
That fingerprints on the wall are dirt to one and treasures to another.
That I’ll not wait to do things, and I’ll not wait to say things.
Ok.. not so much a rant this time. More of an update.. with some frustration mixed in.
I am currently waiting on the divorce papers to arrive. They were supposed to be here last week, not sure what the hold up is. The mail here seems to run really slow, so that could be it. My fear is that he is making some changes to the decree. Which really he can’t do without my permission.. and I certainly will not sign anything that I don’t agree to. At the moment he is not exactly in the most reasonable state of mind though.
The kids tell me that he has been drinking again, as of last week, as far as they know…. possibly longer. This is the fourth week that I have been gone, which means he did not stay on the wagon long. Longer than in the past.. but not long enough. All the promises and amends that he made to the kids and me…. meant nothing. Things I have heard time and time again and finally stopped believing. But, the kids really had their hopes up that dad meant it this time. I knew better, that is why I am no longer there. And the guilt trips that he and everyone tried to lay on me for leaving him now… now, when he is finally getting help. Well… I told you so… didn’t I? They can all eat their words now… I don’t care what they think of me anymore. I am doing what I need to do for myself.
However, I am worried about the kids’ well being. Not that I am afraid he will be abusive to them, not physically anyway. Emotionally, he can be a bully though. Now that I’m not there he will be taking things out on our oldest son.. and when he isn’t there..it will be the oldest girl. In fact, he did go off on her this past weekend, because our son wasn’t there. Yeah, it’s scary how well I know him. Well, the addict version of him anyway. I don’t really know him.. the real him. I have only seen him on rare occasions. He seems like a wonderful man, wish he would have been around more often. I know I married that person, but he left me a long time ago and only visited occasionally.
So, now I am in a position of trying to decide what to do next. I can’t go into a lot of detail here.. not yet…just in case.
I am really tired of the drama… but at least I don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis anymore. The not knowing how he is going to be… walking on egg shells… dealing with this person, this addict that I can’t stand. I tried so often to share with him how it felt that the people he works with get to see the best of him everyday… and I was left to deal with the drunk. I saw HIM briefly in the mornings.. but even still it wasn’t the same, he was still under the influence even when sober because his mind was clouded. It’s sad. My oldest son said something so sad to me… he said that maybe his dad will finally figure out that he has a problem (because right now he is saying he isn’t an alcoholic just a heavy drinker) when all his kids are moved out and no longer speaking to him.. and the only friends he has left are other alcoholics.
Speaking of other alcoholics… I was also told that several of his AA friends were over at the house on Friday night. DRUNK. They were all drinking together. Isn’t that nice? One of them, a woman that I met at the treatment facility.. her second time through… actually lost custody of her daughter because of alcohol. There was another man there who was on the verge of losing his wife and kids if he didn’t get help, (sound familiar? ) who I also met at the treatment facility. According to my kids they were all drinking very heavy. She was so drunk she was slurring and could barely walk… she ended up spending the night at the house. The man was too drunk to drive, but, apparently did anyway. What a great example for our kids… how very responsible of their father. And just the fact that my kids know all this and were exposed to it…. really pisses me off. These weren’t his “drinking buddies”… these were fellow AA people.. addicts, people who’s lives have already been destroyed… much like is own….. And yet.. he is not an alcoholic. Whatever.
If it weren’t for the kids.. I wouldn’t even care.
Now I am preparing for my trip to London next month…. I will be there for 10 days!! I am so looking forward to it. I have always wanted to see London, since I was a young girl. My ex always refused to take me.. anytime it would come up he would roll his eyes and suggest some other place. I’ve loved all the places I have been.. I love to travel… but this one was important to me…my dream… and he refused. Also, if all goes well, my divorce will be final on the day I come back. So… This will mark a new beginning for me… my liberation… a celebration of me and my independence! Can’t wait!
