I mentally had composed an entire post about pudding, but now I can’t write it. On Wednesday I received a letter I was only semi-pleased with, and I was going to compare it to a semi-sweet treat I find merely semi-satisfactory, but on Friday I received a phone call that negated most of my complaints. Thus, in the span of three days, the words languishing in my brain had reached their expiration date.
Perhaps I had better explain.
Like many Americans, I enjoy a delicious cup of pudding now and again. (Yes, I will admit to occasionally packing it in my lunch. Who doesn’t like chocolaty goodness?) On a recent trip to the grocery store, I reached into the refrigerated section for my usual six-pack of 100-Calorie J-ello Pudding Cups, when I spied the sugar-free variety. Although I’m typically not one to buy sugar-free anything, curiosity got the better of me. I checked the nutritional information, and AHA! The sugarless kind contained only 60 calories! Feeling like I had just outsmarted the J-ello pudding marketing “geniuses” who had jumped on the 100-calorie bandwagon, I opened my prize as soon as I got home. I ripped the tin-foil top off one of the cups, plunged in my spoon, and tasted… well, let’s just say it wasn’t quite the velvety numminess I had hoped for.
I was reminded of that experience this week when I received a letter from our adoption agency. I was fired up as soon as I saw the crimson print on the envelope because I knew exactly what was inside. Or so I thought. I tore open the envelope, grabbed the paper inside, and scanned the words “home,” “study,” and “approved”—SUCCESS! We had officially received the rubber stamp from our adoption agency! But when I went back to read the letter in its entirety, what I saw left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. At the end of the letter, our social worker mentioned that, if a child is not placed in our home within two years, we will need to go through the home-study process again, including personal interviews, medical evaluations, and financial reviews—all of which we just completed. Ugh. First of all, although I generally am a realist, I didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that we could be waiting for our child for two years. Second, I just spent an entire summer trying to refrain from pulling out my eyelashes—I don’t want to have to go through all of that scrutiny again.
However, a couple of days later, our social worker called. She wanted to know what our schedules looked like for the next few weeks because she has two birth mothers who want to meet us. Umm… what?! Holy crap—I’m still riding pretty high from the approval letter, and two birth mothers are interested in us? I had to shake my head to clear out the inrush of trivial blather (But we don’t have any baby furniture! We haven’t even replaced the carpet in the nursery yet!) just so I could pay attention to what she was saying.
After hearing the birth mothers’ situations, I once again have put on my I-refuse-to-get-excited exoskeleton. We are third on Birth Mother #1’s list: Her baby will be biracial, and her top two couples are non-white. She chose us because John was adopted. As our social worker said, “John has the whole adopted thing going for him, but he’s just too white.” (I’m going to assume she was kidding.) Birth Mother #2 is requesting ongoing visits with the child. I’m not sure John and I will fit that bill—if she’s looking to come over on Christmas and birthdays, we’re not the right couple for her. My current mantra is “wait and see.”
Even if neither of these birth mothers are right for us, I’m honestly just excited that someone looked at our profile without tossing it aside. (This must be how Oscar losers feel when they say, “It’s an honor just to be nominated.”) It pretty much justifies my decision not to change the profile after our social worker’s negative comments. Also, meeting Birth Mother #1 while knowing we probably won’t get the child gives me a chance to get rid of those first-time jitters. I can experience the initial birth-mother meeting without that shiny-eyed “this is IT” glimmer of hope and the inevitable crushing disappointment.
All things considered, I have to be pleased with the developments thus far. Only three days of “wait time” before getting a result? I think that calls for a celebratory pudding cup.
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